Caffeine To The Squirrel
by MissPoisonedAddiction1
Summary: Rachel finds her new love for Energy Drinks. And Puck's kisses.  One Shot.


**Authors Note:**

_Inspiration from myself because I've had like... three cans of Mother today. Anyway, just wrote this one-shot because we all knew Rachel was bound to find Red Bull._

_And Puck was bound to find he hates her drinking it._

* * *

Who knew having a girl, as a friend, could be so entertaining?

No seriously, since the angsty break up with Finn, Rachel and him have been hanging out. A lot. He kind of thinks this whole friend with a girl thing is too easy.

And then one day she shows up to school with a big can in her small hand. He blinks. Oh shit.

_Is that… Red Bull?_

* * *

"I don't know if you've noticed, though it may have been quite obvious, that I am an extremely attractive woman? I mean it, Noah, seriously, because I've been getting messages on MySpace from all of these strange men who seem very cute but at the same time dull witted, but I have refused so many of their invitations to hang out because they don't seem very trust-worthy, you know? Oh and Finn tried to call me."

She stops to take in a deep breath.

He did not catch _any _of it. No, really. He honestly couldn't form words out of anything she was saying. He eyes the Red Bull can with a grimace.

"How many of those did you have?" he asks slowly.

"One. I had one last night and they were fantastic! They may not be healthy for my vocal chords, but I was feeling slightly dead, so I had one and then I was gone. Dad and daddy think it's cute, so they got me a whole box of them. I like them very much. Would you like one?"

He blinks.

"Berry, I know I've had trouble understanding you before, but right now? You are seriously going to short-circuit my brain."

She blinks. Goes quiet. Starts again.

"Do you think that Mercedes should sing Chris Browns new song? I watched the clip and it was very entertaining and I'm not saying she can sing it because she's dark-skinned, I'm just saying it seems like her type of music—Oh! There she is! Let's go say hi! Mercedes!"

He watches after her with a stunned expression.

_All hell was indeed loose._

* * *

It doesn't end. No, really, it doesn't because he lost a bet to Rachel at Mikes birthday party and now he has to go all of his classes until the end of the year. Stupid no-gag-reflex. Stupid tequila.

He has her in most of his classes. She stays quiet for the most part, her eyes flickering to every fucking object in the room until they land on his back and he can practically feel her breathing down his neck.

"Puck, are you having trouble with the test? I'm not implying you are a person who has a low IQ, but since you didn't attend most of the lessons, I figured I could help you out—not implying I want you to cheat, but, you really should have been here, because most of these questions required your attendance and—

And you remember how he said he wanted to light himself on fire because of her?

He totally wishes he had a lighter right now.

"Noah, are you listening?"

"Yeah, B, I'm good." He murmurs, hoping the teacher doesn't' catch them—he was a prude old dick, who picked on him and mainly Rachel because she was always correcting him.

Always.

He listens to the silence, nearly thanks whatever Gods left, and eyes the sheet in front of him. He pulls the pencil out from behind his ear and begins to answer the questions.

Rachel hums a song.

He flinches.

* * *

So he's figured a way to shut her up.

During one of her deep speeches about Squirrels, he leans forward, cups her face as gently as possible and kisses the fucking daylights out of her in front of everyone in Glee.

She doesn't talk until it's over.

"I think we should be together again." Glee has gone totally deathly-silent.

"On one condition" he cautions, flicking the lighter on as he watches her.

"What's that?"

"No more Red Bull."

She grimaces, thinks deeply.

"Alright."

He sighs in relief.

"How about V, though?" she asks as soon as they're outside when Glee's over.

"No."

"Mother?"

"Hell no."

"Superman?"

"No. No. And no."

"But—

He kisses her.

She doesn't mention it again.


End file.
